What Memories Are Made Of.

Just saw one of my dearest friend post her Saturday Nights album on Facebook, and realized that these are what precious memories are made of:

For an activity (or person) to become treasured, you need:

1. Love - very critical ingredient
2. Habit/ Routine - some kind of established regularity is essential, whether it's Saturday Nights out, or an annual ritual of going to a certain place together, or making sure you say good night to the same person -- wherever he or she may be -- every night before you go to sleep

Snapshots -- like what my friend posted -- are created in your soul with this recipe. This is why my most heartfelt memories of my Crinkle cat, for instance, are those activities we do on a regular basis together. And it's not just visual memories -- I remember the softness of his fur, I hear his purr, I can smell the leather of the chair we're sitting on as I cuddle my cat while watching television. Or clipping his nails. LOL.

Small rituals with my mom are what I remember most about her too -- such as the fact that she cooks the very complicated birthday misua recipe during my birthday, when she has to wake up at four in the morning. Or remembering her in a particular outfit, a habit of hers that have made an impression on me. My sisters and I recently reminisced that my mom paints her nails differently from everyone else, like an upside-down French manicure.

And, need I say, one of the most difficult parts about breaking up with someone also involve letting go of any rituals that you may have had together. It's probably really hard if you had lived together too.

While happenstance, funny moments, and once-in-a-lifetime events are also treasured, it's the things that happen regularly that stay in the mind and heart, like a well-worn foot path that you keep going back to again and again.

Conversely, if you have not established some kind of ritual with someone, you probably will not miss him (or her), no matter how much you love this person. This happens with friendships sometimes, or when circumstances change in a beloved friend or family member's life like when someone gets married, or moves away, or suddenly has a demanding work schedule. To stay with the mind and heart, you have to make sure to re-establish a routine together.

So people, those weekly family dinners that some may find boring, don't skip them. Someday, these memories are all you will have left of them.